What if telling kids “You’re so smart!” is actually making them weaker—not stronger?

For years, parents and teachers have believed praise is fuel: encourage a child enough and they will soar. But new research suggests the opposite may be happening. When we constantly praise children for being “smart” or “talented,” we unintentionally lock them into fixed mindsets—making them more afraid of failure, less willing to try hard things, and deeply dependent on external validation.

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset Theory reveals a shocking truth: praising effort builds resilience; praising intelligence builds fear. Kids who are told “You’re so smart” avoid challenges to protect that label. Kids who are told “You worked hard” seek challenges because they believe they can grow.

We think we’re motivating them—but we may be making them fragile.